Poetry - Love Thanked

Love Thanked

By CC

I wanted to thank you for  reaching out to me.
I bid your patience as I try to express how much it means to me.

I struggle with thoughts of control  "Why did I come?"

    "I don't belong."

It is so hard to forget 'myself'.

I habitually bring 'myself' along.

Why does it seem easier to control  thoughts when distracted  from them?

 "My sin,

my own sin,

my own most grievous sin."

How am I made holy?

How do I separate …

My:self,   

My own self,

My:self-centered self?

What are my reasons for going?

'foregoing'

------ my self preservation ?

or choosing to 'make' myself

go

against my better (human) judgment?

I had a youth pastor tell me that self-centeredness is at the root of both pride

and shyness (mislabeled "humility" by the ignorant).

I battle

both fronts.

I am

an affront.

I must battle myself

for Christ's sake.

"Why is this so hard?"

For heavens sake

I Grasp God's words from my cupid's bag.

I place them in the bow that I must turn upon my heart

as a means of, grace-full, salvation from myself.

Then the words  for a time become an experienced part of who I am.

I am……. lifted above the pit, as self dies

trusting God's Word.

I can be still and know that He is God.

For God's sake

stop!

I must stop battling the truth with my feelings.

Without real love

I am nothing.

Love defined for us Corinthians

is only action.

Actions toward my enemies and friends within and without.

Thank you for  reaching out to me.
Your kindness helps me not to fall.